Denver traffic is going to be the actual worst: St. Patrick’s Day parade edition

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I mean, you can try, but...

No.

Denver’s St. Patrick’s Day parade steps off at 9:30 a.m. Saturday morning for an approximately four-hour procession through downtown Denver.

You know what that means: Don’t drive over there.

Only the parade route itself — which mainly runs along Blake Street from 17th to 27th — will be closed off, but you’re not going to want to try to cross it or even get anywhere near it until, maybe, 2 p.m.

There will also be a staging area in the Coors Field lots near Park Avenue, which should cause some congestion in advance.

The parade website says you should be able to exit from I-25 onto 20th Street, but also says “traffic in that area will be on the rise.”

That’s a very polite way of advising you to just stay the hell away.

“But I’m going to the parade!”

Right. Well.

Get there early and park far away from the route if walking farther is an option. Or park on the Colfax end of the Mall Ride and cruise on up to Blake for free.

Or, better yet, abandon your car altogether and take public transportation. (Please definitely do this if you’re planning on drinking.) As I’ve said before, it’s a really great thing.

Almost every single light-rail line will get you where you need to be for this thing. The A, B, C, E and W will all take you to Union Station, right on the parade route. The D, F and H will take you to the 16th Street Mall Ride, which, again, you can ride for free to the parade.

As for buses — that’s more complicated. Here’s a map. I believe in you.

#NeverDrive™️

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