Denver snow: A poetic guide to when it’s really coming down out there

We’re artists now.

"The Houses in the Snow, Norway" on display in the Denver Art Museum's "Claude Monet: The Truth of Nature" exhibit Oct. 17, 2019. (Kevin J. Beaty/Denverite)

"The Houses in the Snow, Norway" on display in the Denver Art Museum's "Claude Monet: The Truth of Nature" exhibit Oct. 17, 2019. (Kevin J. Beaty/Denverite)

staff photos

Everyone knows journalists get into the business to write Weather Stories. But we also get into the business to write stylistically, when possible. It’s Friday so I’m just going to combine the two.

Here’s a poem. Not to brag, but it rhymes.

Today: 3 to 5 inches and a 100 percent chance of snowflakes falling,
plus a 100 percent chance of people walking and falling.
And a 100 percent chance of people wheeling and stalling
if you don’t shovel the walk.

That job is actually not the government’s calling!
But there’s no reason for bawling,
because though it may seem appalling,
you probably won’t get fined.

And now, to the people who are driving,
there’s a way to track whether your street is thriving.
Plus we’ve asked what you’ve asked —
is the city that bad at plowing?

Denver schools are thankfully closed —
thankful unless you’re a parent — you’re hosed.
We know the kids are unopposed.
This stanza needs another line so here it is.

And finally to the content that matters,
when pets need to empty their bladders.
And bound through the belly-high … snow
We really think you should see it and know.

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