Goodbye 2016, hello 2017.
There's really no reason for us to believe things are going to be better tomorrow, but let's operate under that assumption anyway, shall we?
Never mind that all of our brilliant weirdos haven't really died, but have been rescued by sympathetic aliens who want to save the best of humanity and probably still have a dozen more people to pick up. And never mind the terrible uncertainty of a president who can't stop tweeting.
Everything's going to be fine.
Just fine, really. Let's party.
Saturday
Reminder: RTD buses and trains are free for New Year's Eve, starting at 7 p.m.
Food & drink
Depravity imperial peanut butter cup stout release. On tap, in growlers and in four-packs. Renegade Brewing Co., 925 W. Ninth Ave. Noon-10 p.m.
Seven-course New Year's Eve beer and spirits dinner. See listing for detailed menu including Colorado lamb, seared scallops, truffled mortadella and more. To the Wind Bistro, 3333 E. Colfax Ave. 5-9 p.m. $100.
NYE cherry pie firkin. Food from Casablanca food truck. Alpine Dog Brewing Co., 1505 Ogden St. 6 p.m.
Diet Starts Tomorrow NYE party. Drink and eat carbs all night. Some junk foods provided, but bring something to share. Grandma's House, 1710 S. Broadway. 8 p.m.
Entertainment
Nahko and Medicine for the People. Ogden Theatre, 935 E. Colfax Ave. 9 p.m. $50-55.
Fox Street & Friends do "Boogie Nights" and "Blow." Bluebird Theater, 3317 E. Colfax Ave. 9 p.m. $25-30.
BoomBox. Gothic Theatre, 3263 S. Broadway. 9 p.m. $35-65.
The Yawpers. Oriental Theater, 4335 W. 44th Ave. 8:30 p.m. $10-30.
DeadPhish Orchestra. Cervantes Other Side, 2637 Welton St. 9 p.m. $20-25.
El Ten Eleven. Larimer Lounge, 2721 Larimer St. 9 p.m. $20-40.
Guilty Pleasures presents Y2K 2.0. Hi-Dive, 7 S. Broadway. 9 p.m. $10.
Itchy-O. Summit Music Hall, 1902 Blake St. 8 p.m. $30-60.
In Our Element -- A New Year's Eve Hip-Hop Celebration. Marquis Theater, 2009 Larimer St. 8 p.m. $10-15.
Colfax Speed Queen. Lost Lake, 3602 E. Colfax Ave. 9 p.m. $10-12.
“An Act of God.” In a play the New York Times called “deliriously funny,” God takes on a human form and sets the record straight. Garner Galleria Theatre, 1101 13th St. 2 p.m. and 7:30 p.m. Tickets start at $47.
“Finding Neverland.” Buell Theater, 1350 Curtis St. 2 p.m. and 7:30 p.m. $30-125.
Slim Cessna's Auto Club. 3 King's Tavern, 60 S. Broadway. 8 p.m. $35-45.
Black Sky's Brew Year's Eve with Hallowed Screams (Slayer tribute band), Driven by Turmoil, Six Feet of Anger and Sanity's Edge. Free champagne at midnight. Black Sky Brewery, 490 Santa Fe Drive. 6 p.m. Free.
Decadence. There are still some tickets left if you want to pay for a VIP experience. Colorado Convention Center, 700 14th St. 6:30 p.m. $199.
NYE parties (that aren't concerts)
New Year's Eve with Denver Union Station. Silent DJ party in the great hall, a gallery-level speakeasy, dinner in Cooper's Lounge. Denver Union Station, 1701 Wynkoop St. $20-85. 9 p.m.
Higher Society New Year's Eve Ball. Music from Alex and Allyson Grey, Random Rab, Quixotic, Androcell, Tierro Band with Bridget Law (of Elephant Revival). Immersive interactive experiences and underground sounds. Ring in the New Year with underground sounds from Fantastic DJs Kanyon Walker, Mental and Milk. City Hall, 1144 Broadway. 9 p.m. $45-85.
NYE at DBC. Party hats and a complimentary pour from the firkin at midnight. Denver Beer Co., 1695 Platte St. 6 p.m. No cover.
Third annual NYE party at Fiction. Live bluegrass from That Damn Sasquatch at 9 p.m. Exclusive toasting beer just for NYE. Prizes all night.
Food and beer pairing with Pavy's Sandwiches. Fiction Brewing Co., 7101 E. Colfax Ave. 7 p.m. Free with registration.
White Rose Gala. Roaring '20s theme with musical and theatrical performances. Proceeds go to charity. Ellie Caulkin's Opera House, 1400 Curtis St. 9 p.m. $79.
New Year's Eve at the Mercury Cafe. Dinner and live classical and jazz performances 5:30 p.m.-12:30 a.m. Annual Erotic Poetry Festival with Beat Nomad Belly Dancers at 7 p.m., $10. Winehouse Masquerade with Judge Roughneck at 9:30 p.m. $20-25. Gora Gora Orkestar at 10 p.m. $10-15. All three events $40. Reservations: 303-294-9258.
New Year's Eve at Ratio. The Mystery Sisters DJ Duo spinning punk and dance, special release firkins, snacks, and a balloon and keg drop at midnight. Dress to impress. Ratio Beerworks, 2920 Larimer St. 8 p.m.
New Year's Eve 1980s Dance Party. The Walnut Room, 3131 Walnut St. 9 p.m. No cover, free champagne at midnight.
Fiesta de Año Nuevo. The Church, 1160 Lincoln St. 9 p.m. $30.
NYE Masquerade Ball. DJ Shadoe, small bites throughout the night, champagne toast at midnight and Captain Morgan specials. Masks and costumes encouraged. The Living Room, 1055 Broadway. 9 p.m. $25.
New Year's Eve dance party. Beryl's Beer Co., 3120 Blake St. 10 p.m. Free with RSVP.
New Years Eve at OMF. Beer, snacks and dancing. Countdown drinks on the house. Dress to impress. Our Mutual Friend Brewing Co., 2810 Larimer St. 9 p.m. Free.
For families
Noon Year's Eve. The sights and sounds of Times Square, with ball drops and countdowns on the hour, rainbow confetti, bubble wrap fireworks, art projects, music, special characters and more. Children's Museum of Denver, 2121 Children's Museum Drive. 9 a.m.- 4 p.m. Tickets are free for kids younger than 1, $13 for 1-year-olds and ages 60 and up, and $15 for ages 2 to 59. Members get a 50 percent discount. Tickets are only sold at the door.
Zoo Year's Eve. Activities for the entire family and an early New Year's Eve countdown at 9 p.m. at Zoo Lights. Denver Zoo, 2300 Steele St. 5:30-9 p.m. $2-17.
Bunk with the Beasts. Kids-only sleepover. Explore how wild animals adapt to winter habitats and enjoy Zoo Lights. Sign up: [email protected] or 720-337-1400.
Blossoms of Light. Denver Botanic Gardens, 1007 York St. 5:30-9 p.m. $8-13.
For kickstarting that New Year diet
Resolution 5K. Wear your NYE best. Washington Park, South High School, 1700 E. Louisiana Ave. 3 p.m. start. Registration 1:30-2:45 p.m. $25-35.
Sports
Denver hockey at Providence, 3 p.m.
Colorado State basketball at Boise State, 4 p.m.
Colorado Avalanche vs. New York Rangers, 6 p.m.
Sunday
Food & drink
New Year's Day Tamales, TV's and Brewskis. Football and traditional New Year's Day tamales from Tamales by La Casita. Factotum Brewhouse, 3845 Lipan St. 10:45 a.m.-8 p.m.
Holiday Hangover Party. Mile High Cajun serving breakfast all day. Beer cocktails and football. Take a photo on the red carpet walk of shame.
Ten percent off if you show up in pajamas. Twenty percent off if you still have on the clothes from the night before. Epic Brewing Co., 3001 Walnut St. 11 a.m.
New Year's Day Bubbly Brunch. Mimosa towers, new menu and live music. Games, giveaways and tournaments in the tented courtyard. ViewHouse, 2015 Market St. 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Reservations recommended for groups of five or more: 720-878-2015 or [email protected].
New Years Day Bottomless Brunch. Unlimited small plates and free-flowing brunch cocktails. Zengo, 1610 Little Raven St. 10 a.m.-2:30 p.m.
Entertainment
“An Act of God.” In a play the New York Times called “deliriously funny,” God takes on a human form and sets the record straight. Garner Galleria Theatre, 1101 13th St. 2 p.m. and 7:30 p.m. Tickets start at $47.
“Finding Neverland.” Buell Theater, 1350 Curtis St. 2 p.m. $30-125.
Art
Foul-mouthed cross stitch Sunday. Grab a needle and embroidery floss and tell 2016 where to shove it. Grandma's House, 1710 S. Broadway. Noon-9 p.m.
For families
Zoo Lights. Denver Zoo, 2300 Steele St. 5:30-9 p.m. $2-17.
Blossoms of Light. Denver Botanic Gardens, 1007 York St. 5:30-9 p.m. $8-13.
For your health
First Day Hikes. Guided activities in 27 state parks. The hikes are free but park visitors need a valid parks pass. Daily pass for most parks is $7 per vehicle.
For a cause
It Doesn't Have to Be Like This (Noenemies 2017 vocal warm up). Practice singing in harmony with musicians, organizers and neighbors and prepare to make your voice heard in 2017. Youth On Record, 1301 W. 10th Ave. 3-5 p.m.
Sports
Denver Broncos vs. Oakland Raiders, 2:25 p.m.
Colorado basketball at Utah, 4:30 p.m.
