The Blucifer video game is ready for those of you who want to be Denver’s airport demon horse

Blucifer is “woke” and also the real Gossip Girl.

A screen shot of Blucifer: The Doom Horse of Denver.

A screen shot of Blucifer: The Doom Horse of Denver.

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Listen up, nerds! “Blucifer: The Doom Horse of Denver” is live.

It’s been a little more than a month — which in the Year of Our Lord 2019 translates to about 48 years — since we first got a glimpse of Ryan Seabury’s video game that essentially lets you stomp around Denver destroying things as Blucifer. The announcement of its availability arrived via Friday press release, as most messages of doom do.

Here’s the full message from our Digital Blucie:

I Am Woke

Greetings Mortals,
Your time on this wretched excuse of a physical dimension of existence is almost up.

I have slumbered for 10,000 years only to awake imprisoned in this accursed horse statue. As this is the form you chose for me, I, Blucifer, Harbinger of Destruction, shall soon reward you with sweet oblivion by trampling your world.

In the meantime, revel in the ruin I will bring to the desecrated grounds of the “Mile High” city by downloading this adorable little mobile game that one of my zealots has created.

xoxo,
Blucifer

I have to say I appreciate villainous message signed with hugs and kisses. Maybe Blucifer was Gossip Girl all along.

Also of note: it appears we’re in some sort of “Ghostbusters” situation. Whoever couldn’t help but think about a red-eyed, blue-bodied, grossly muscular stallion should probably talk to a therapist.

Anyway, the game is now available for your entertainment on Google Play and the Apple App Store. A portion of all sales will be donated to DonorsChoose.org to help fund classroom projects throughout Denver metro public schools. The press release promises no ads or in-app purchases.

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