When Peyton Manning retired in March, Gatorade put together a commercial that featured family members, coaches, friends and fans reading Manning’s hand-written letters aloud. Manning used the letters as a way to show gratitude for those who’d helped him in his 18-year career. The emotional ad made the rounds on TV and social media.

Wednesday night at the ESPYs, ESPN’s annual award show, the sports and entertainment giant put together a spoof of Manning’s Gatorade ad. In it, Manning writes letters to many of the same people, only in a much less endearing way.

“Dear D.J.,” he “writes” Yankees’ legend Derek Jeter, “congrats on your outstanding career. You’ll always have my respect. If you’re ever in my neck of the woods, I’d love to sit down for dinner. I have a Groupon for Red Lobster, where $40 gets you $80 of scampi. Let me know, as these things expire.”

Check it out above.