Why would you click this?

Whatever, too late. You have now heard of theSHOENICE, a bizarrely popular man (580,000 YouTube followers) who eats weird stuff all over Denver.

In today’s episode, theSHOENICE eats ghost-pepper wings at America’s Bar & Grill. He says these wings have been named Denver’s hottest for four years in a row by someone or another, and that seems fairly believable based on what happens.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6wtsEqVbcY

theSHOENICE starts sounding a lot like Bowser, the giant lizard-turtle that keeps ruining Mario’s day, right around the 1:00 mark. There’s really not a lot more to this video. I’m sorry.

Other theSHOENICE stunts include eating 800 sheets of toilet paper on 16th Street Mall, getting banned from the Denver Public Library and eating the ban notice and drinking a bottle of vodka in 10 seconds. None of this is recommended.

Also, he’s making a documentary about homelessness, apparently to be titled “Shoenice Saving Souls.” It has raised $10.