If you thought coziness was a subjective, indefinable quality … well, you’re right, but that’s not going to stop us from trying to measure it. We’re visiting Denver coffee shops, cafés and tea houses neighborhood by neighborhood to do it.
We’ll award points in several categories: Temperature, comfortable seating, decor, music and menu. Shops can earn bonus points for things like having a working fireplace. To be as fair as possible about the temperature, your intrepid reporter will wear the same thing to every spot.
This week, we sipped around the Baker neighborhood.
Mutiny Information Café
2 S. Broadway
The first thing that needs to be said about Mutiny is that is probably has the best music of any coffee shop in Denver. The second thing is that that's not necessarily cozy, depending on your feelings about listening to "Enter Sandman" while you read.
Anyway, it smells like books in there, which is one of the coziest things it could possibly smell like. Plus, you know, they sell books. And vinyl and comics. There are also a couple pinball machines and a piano. This place gets so many bonus points.
Temperature: 8
Comfy seats: 7
Decor: 7
Music: 6
Menu: 7
Bonus: 4
Total score: 39
Bardo Coffee House
238 S. Broadway
Bardo earned itself one of the highest scores in our totally scientific rankings so far. The rooms -- with exposed brick, wood panelling in soothing shades of blue, warm light and pressed tin ceilings -- are some of the coziest we've sat in. Plus it's quite warm and they have several couches.
The coffee menu has a decent selection and the food largely comes from Etai's, which is an obvious but good choice. Bonus point for having ice cream on the menu.
Temperature: 10
Comfy seats: 9
Decor: 9
Music: 8
Menu: 9
Bonus: 1
Total score: 46
Metropolis Coffee
1 S. Broadway
Metropolis gets points for its big windows (because natural light is cozy) but also loses a few because of them. It's pretty chilly at those window seats.
What it lacks in warmth, and also comfortable seats, it makes up for with a consistently warm-and-fuzzy but not cliché playlist and a great menu. Any coffee shop serving Maria Empanada and locally made pastries can have my money.
Temperature: 6
Comfy seats: 6
Decor: 7
Music: 10
Menu: 9
Bonus: 0
Total score: 38
