Here are your Denver coronavirus masks

The situation is not funny, but these are.

(Kevin J. Beaty/Denverite)

(Kevin J. Beaty/Denverite)

KEVIN-lighter

Last week, Gov. Jared Polis told the state that we should develop a “strong mask culture” as we work together to stem the tide of COVID-19.

“When you’re out of the home, you should use a mask at all times,” he said.

The idea is to keep your spit particles to yourself, since 25 percent of people who have the virus might not show symptoms.

People follow trends, Polis said. We should make this fashionable, he said.

Here are a few mask designs that show some Mile High pride. Each is placed on the governor. We hope he doesn’t mind. We know he’s working like crazy.

Also: Please do let us know if you figure out how to make any of these.

The Denver flag

(Kevin J. Beaty/Denverite)

(Kevin J. Beaty/Denverite)

This could be relatively easy to pull off, and it’s quite sharp. It complements blue suits, red ties and even the finest work-from-home sweatpants ensemble. As a bonus, the sun corresponds nicely with nose placement, and the mountains kind of look like teeth.

Charlie Blackmon beard/mullet combo

(Kevin J. Beaty/Denverite)

(Kevin J. Beaty/Denverite)

This stylish option pays tribute to the iconic Rockies outfielder. It’s timely, given that opening day was postponed. It also may double as a warming item when the weather cycles back to winter for a minute. The beard comes with a rear mullet accessory, which will ensure people know who you are. As a bonus, you can take off the mullet for a “Denver brewery dude” look.

“Mustang”

(Kevin J. Beaty/Denverite)

(Kevin J. Beaty/Denverite)

Luis Jiménez’s “Mustang” is recreated here to serve the public health need and offer a striking statement piece. Have the edge when approaching the next open socially distant spot in line at the grocery store. Mrs. Normal Mask will certainly let you go first. The elongated nose leaves extra room for breathing to yourself. Red eyes sold separately.

(Note: We are still excited to offer Blucifer art stickers from our end-of-year membership drive — we had an event planned to distribute them but then this started and, you know, we had to cancel.)

Midnight on Colfax

(Kevin J. Beaty/Denverite)

(Kevin J. Beaty/Denverite)

This evening-wear piece conjures the tastes and characters of Colfax Avenue after dark. The burger flipper from Pete’s Kitchen is featured prominently on each side. We have a special running for this item for a limited supply. The first 250 orders will be pre-soaked in the aroma of cooked bacon. Your dog and your partner will follow you everywhere.

Prairie dog

(Kevin J. Beaty/Denverite)

(Kevin J. Beaty/Denverite)

For the environmentally conscious, we bring you this special piece from Denver’s urban habitat: the prairie dog, genus cynomys. Not only fabulous but useful, this item is fitted with a noisemaker inside the mask that squeaks, alerting your friends to nearby danger.

The “La Raza Park Lowrider”

(Kevin J. Beaty/Denverite)

(Kevin J. Beaty/Denverite)

Featuring a 100-spoke chrome air filter, this mask is our most robust purifier. Those who visit the northside or cruise Federal Boulevard can now do so with the peace of mind that every bit of air is good to breathe. The mustard print features pin stripes from a real lowrider, Marcus Lopez’s ’56 Chevy, which he drove in a big Federal cruise last year.

One for the home team

Here's an aspirational face mask. (Kevin J. Beaty/Denverite)

(Kevin J. Beaty/Denverite)

We won’t go so far as to say this is a fashion statement, but we at Denverite do want to provide opportunity for adoring readers to carry us on their faces everywhere. The logo is placed right on the mouth, which symbolizes the filter of truth and integrity we put on every story ☺- including, and especially, this one.

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Denverite members have made the decision to financially support local journalism that matters to you. Ready to tell your networks why? Sharing our “About” page with your own personal comments could really help us out.