Colorado is weirder than our delegations wanted the country to know

Fireworks on July 3, or Independence Day Eve. 2016. (Kevin J. Beaty/Denverite)  denver; denverite; colorado; civic center park; fireworks; fourth of july; july 4th; kevinjbeaty; independence day;

Fireworks on July 3, or Independence Day Eve, 2016. (Kevin J. Beaty/Denverite)

As you may know, the roll call process at the conventions involves each delegation offering a fun fact about their state before calling out the number of votes they’re giving to each candidate.

The Washington Post thinks everyone could have done better.

Some of them aren’t so kind, but the Post’s suggestion for Colorado is sort of a compliment. Compare and contrast:

RNC 2016: “The frontier state, where the plains meet the Rocky Mountains on God’s most beautiful piece of real estate, home of Sen. Cory Gardner, future senator Darryl Glenn and the world champion Denver Broncos.”

DNC 2016: “Colorado is home to Rocky Mountain, Mesa Verde, Great Sand Dunes and Black Canyon of the Gunnison national parks, which are some of the world’s most wondrous and diverse lands. As Colorado Democrats, we’re proud to be the party that fights every day to protect these lands because they are America’s lands.”

Washington Post: “Over which the ashes of Hunter S. Thompson were packed into fireworks and exploded in front of a crowd that included John Kerry!”

Well, yeah, that is pretty cool. And pretty specific. And pretty weird. It got us thinking: What would we shout about if we were Colorado delegates?

It’d be hard to beat the mere presence of a woman older than her right to vote, or the Louisiana delegates’ moment, which New York Magazine correctly describes as “lit.” But boy did we try:

“The only state in history to tell the Olympics to go f— themselves!”

“Home to a frozen dead Norwegian guy with his own festival!”

“Once home to a chicken named Mike that lived headless for 18 months and also has his own festival!”

“A state that really, really loves its Subarus!”

“It’s not always snowing here!”

“Home of the Kit Carson County Carousel, the oldest wooden merry-go-round in the United States!”

“A little bit bigger than Wyoming!”

“Our birthday is Monday!” [wink]