Thanks for the support, Denverites! 
This is a 99.9 percent April Fool's nonsense-free zone, but I can't make any promises about what goes on out in the world. Good luck.
Thursday
Food & drink
The Way Back Anniversary. Complimentary Prairie Organic cocktails and small dishes. The Way Back, 132 W. 38th Ave. 4-6 p.m. $5 admission supports Grow Haus.
Beer and Cheese with Cerebral. Five-ounce beer pours paired with Whole Foods cheese and discussion with cheese expert Nate Cougill. Denver Bicycle Café, 1308 E. 17th Ave. 7-9 p.m. $25.
Pizza and beer dinner. Four- to five-course dinner with beer pairings from Black Shirt Brewing Co. Denver Deep Dish LoHi, 1200 W. 38th Ave. 7-10 p.m. $30.
Entertainment
“Constellations.” This play, inspired by string theory, follows scientist Marianne and beekeeper Roland through the possible paths of their relationship after they meet at a party. Curious Theatre Company, 1080 Acoma St. 8 p.m. $24-30.
“An Act of God.” In a play the New York Times called “deliriously funny,” God takes on a human form and sets the record straight. Garner Galleria Theatre, 1101 13th St. 7:30 p.m. Tickets start at $47.
Amy Kress. Lost Lake Lounge, 3602 E. Colfax Ave. 8 p.m. $8-10.
Pickin' On Petty with Chain Station. Cervantes Other Side, 2637 Welton St. 8 p.m. $5-15.
PVO. Oriental Theater, 4335 W. 44th St. 7 p.m. $12.
The Maine. Summit Music Hall, 1902 Blake St. 6:30 p.m. $22-25.
Hemingway Hero. Marquis Theater, 2009 Larimer St. 7 p.m. $10-12.
Ukefest. Syntax Physic Opera, 544 S. Broadway. 9 p.m. $10.
Cosmic Mesa. Globe Hall 4483 Logan St. 9 p.m. $10.
Quiles & Cloud. Swallow Hill Music, 71 E. Yale Ave. 7:30 p.m. $12.
Art
Denver Fashion Week(end). Night one features the Madeline Stuart runway spring collection, plus other local and national designers and the 303 Awards. EXDO Event Center, 1399 35th St. 7-11 p.m. $10-400.
Zines and Cereal 2017. $2 for a bowl of cereal and $1 for a cup of coffee, and local zinesters will be selling their zines. Bring cash. Vegan milk and gluten-free cereals available. Europa Coffeehouse, 76 S Pennsylvania St. 6:30-8:30 p.m.
For families
Spring break open art studio. Ideal for ages 2-12. Children's Library at Denver Public Library, 10 W. 14th Ave. Parkway. 1-3 p.m.
Spring break cupcake class. Includes six cupcakes; one beer, glass of wine or soda; and two hours of instruction. My Make Studio, 6460 E. Yale Ave., Unit E60. 6-8 p.m. $55.
Spring break space camp. Train to be an astronaut before going back Saturday to help locate a lost spaceship that is orbiting an outer planet. Ideal for ages 8 and older. Virginia Village Branch Library, 1500 S. Dahlia St. 2-4:30 p.m.
Friday
Food & drink
Last Night at Jake's. RiNo's neighborhood sports bar will have drink and food specials and a packed house for its last night. Jake's Sports & Spirits, 3800 Walnut St.
Time Crystal release. New IPA brewed with malted and flaked oats. Cerebral Brewing, 1477 Monroe St. Noon-11 p.m.
Thunder Puppy release. A new New England IPA. Alpine Dog Brewing Co., 1505 Ogden St. 5 p.m.-midnight.
Entertainment
Best bet: Lucha Libre & Laughs. Stand-up comedy and wrestling with commentary from local comedians. Oriental Theater, 4335 W. 44th St. 7 p.m. $10.
Best bet: Colfax Speed Queen and Ned Garth Explosion tour kickoff. Hi-Dive, 7 S. Broadway. 9:30 p.m. $10.
Best bet: "Disgraced." A 2013 Pulitzer Prize-winning play about a man who spends his adulthood downplaying his upbringing, but finds misconceptions about his culture too much to bear after a high-profile court case and his wife’s Islam-inspired art show. Ricketson Theatre, 1400 Curtis St. 7:30 p.m. $35.
“Constellations.” This play, inspired by string theory, follows scientist Marianne and beekeeper Roland through the possible paths of their relationship after they meet at a party. Curious Theatre Company, 1080 Acoma St. 8 p.m. $24-30.
“An Act of God.” In a play the New York Times called “deliriously funny,” God takes on a human form and sets the record straight. Garner Galleria Theatre, 1101 13th St. 7:30 p.m. Tickets start at $47.
In the Company of Serpents. Bluebird Theater, 3317 E. Colfax Ave. 8 p.m. $13-15.
Frankie Ballard. Gothic Theatre, 3263 S. Broadway. 8 p.m. $22.50-25.
Quantum Creep. Larimer Lounge, 2721 Larimer St. 9 p.m. $10.
Happy hour with Big Lid. Lost Lake Lounge, 3602 E. Colfax Ave. 6:30-8 p.m. Free.
Blue Lane Frontier. Lost Lake Lounge, 3602 E. Colfax Ave. 9 p.m. $8-10.
Rastasaurus. Cervantes Other Side, 2637 Welton St. 8 p.m. $5-10.
Marco Benevento. Cervantes Masterpiece, 2637 Welton St. 9 p.m. $15-20.
Senses Fail. Summit Music Hall, 1902 Blake St. 7 p.m. $16.50-20.
Teenage Bottlerocket. Marquis Theater, 2009 Larimer St. 7 p.m. $13-15.
Clouds & Mountains. Syntax Physic Opera, 554 S. Broadway. 9 p.m. $7.
Queenz of Hip-Hop 8 Jam. Dance battles, workshops and omen in hip hop. Tivoli Turnhalle at the Auraria Campus, 900 Auraria Parkway. 5-10:30 p.m.
Kayla Marque. Swallow Hill Music, 71 E. Yale Ave. 8 p.m. $20.
New Ben Franklins. 3 Kings Tavern, 60 S. Broadway. 10 p.m. Free.
Midnight Madness: "Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery." Esquire Theatre, 590 Downing St. Midnight. $9.
Art
Best bet: Untitled: Roots. Art-inspired brain games, a tour of "Mi Tierra" with the curator, a talk with Denver refugee advocacy group Project Worthmore and Jamie 5 of the Flobots, "underground treats" with Rocky Mountain Micro Ranch and Chef Daniel Asher of Root Down and much more. Denver Art Museum, 100 W. 14th Ave. Parkway. 6-10 p.m. $18-24.
"Pre-Catalyzed." Benefit show to help fund MSU Denver's Thesis Exhibition with art, music and refreshments. Spectra Art Space, 1836 S. Broadway. 7-11 p.m. $5.
Lithography demo. Printmakers Brandon Gunn and Gregory Santos will do a start-to-finish demonstration of the photo plate lithography process. Art Gym, 1460 Leyden St. 6-8 p.m.
For families
"The Little Mermaid." The Colorado Ballet ends the 2016-17 season with this classic kids' tale. Newman Center for the Performing Arts, 2344 E. Iliff Ave. 7:30 p.m. $43-155.
Spring break open art studio. Ideal for ages 2-12. Children's Library at Denver Public Library, 10 W. 14th Ave. Parkway. 1-3 p.m.
Spring break space camp. Train to be an astronaut before going back Saturday to help locate a lost spaceship that is orbiting an outer planet. Ideal for ages 8 and older. Virginia Village Branch Library, 1500 S. Dahlia St. 2-4:30 p.m.
Sports
Denver Nuggets at Charlotte Hornets, 7 p.m.
Colorado Avalanche vs. St. Louis Blues, 7 p.m.
Saturday
Food & drink
The Larimer La Resistance release. Sour ale brewed with pink Himalayan sea salt. Crazy Mountain Brewing Co., 471 Kalamath St. Noon-8 p.m.
Farewell to Colfax. Lost Highway is moving to Centennial. Send them off with live music from Jim Dalton & Amigos from 2-5 p.m. and games and giveaways throughout the night. Lost Highway Brewing Co., 520 E Colfax Ave. Noon-midnight.
All-you-can-eat crawfish boil. Crawfish, jambalaya, etouffee, gumbo, rice and beans. Live Cajun music from Blue Krewe. Max Gill & Grill, 1052 S. Gaylord St. 1 p.m. $35.
Entertainment
Best bet: Midnight Madness: "Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery." Esquire Theatre, 590 Downing St. Midnight. $9.
Best bet: "The Music of Michael Jackson" performed by the Colorado Symphony Orchesta. Boettcher Concert Hall, 1400 Curtis St. 7:30 p.m. $34-94.
Best bet: "Disgraced." A 2013 Pulitzer Prize-winning play about a man who spends his adulthood downplaying his upbringing, but finds misconceptions about his culture too much to bear after a high-profile court case and his wife’s Islam-inspired art show. Ricketson Theatre, 1400 Curtis St. 7:30 p.m. $35.
Hal Holbrook: Mark Twain Tonight. Buell Theatre, 1350 Curtis St. 7 p.m. $25-65.
“Constellations.” This play, inspired by string theory, follows scientist Marianne and beekeeper Roland through the possible paths of their relationship after they meet at a party. Curious Theatre Company, 1080 Acoma St. 8 p.m. $24-30.
“An Act of God.” In a play the New York Times called “deliriously funny,” God takes on a human form and sets the record straight. Garner Galleria Theatre, 1101 13th St. 2 p.m. and 7:30 p.m. Tickets start at $47.
"It's Elemental!" The Orpheus Pagan Chamber Choir performing the music of Earth, Wind and Fire. Wash Park Center for Music & Art, 400 S. Williams St. 11 a.m. Free-$20.
G. Love & Special Sauce. Ogden Theatre, 935 E. Colfax Ave. 9 p.m. $30-35.
Spafford. Bluebird Theater, 3317 E. Colfax Ave. 9 p.m. $12-15.
Project 432. Lost Lake Lounge, 3602 E. Colfax Ave. 9 p.m. $8-10.
Strange Americans. Hi-Dive, 7 S. Broadway. 9 p.m. $10-12.
Philsh aka Character Zero. Cervantes Masterpiece, 2637 Welton St. 9 p.m. $5-10.
Mr. Majestyk's 8 Track Revival & Hey Lady! (B-52's Tribute). Oriental Theater, 4335 W. 44th St. 8 p.m. $17.
NF. Summit Music Hall, 1902 Blake St. 7 p.m. $25-75.
Sammy J. Marquis Theater, 2009 Larimer St. 7 p.m. $15-18.
Queenz of Hip-Hop 8 Jam. Dance battles, workshops and omen in hip hop. City Hall, 1144 Broadway. Noon-6 p.m.
Art
Best bet: Penny admission for Colorado residents. Museum of Contemporary Art Denver, 1485 Delgany St. 10 a.m.-5 p.m.
Best bet: "Notes From Clyfford Still." A companion piece to composer Nathan Hall's recent collaborative workshops and performances at the Clyfford Still Museum. Denver Art Museum, 100 W. 14th Ave. Parkway. 2 p.m. Free-$10.
Denver Fashion Week(end). EXDO Event Center, 1399 35th St. 7-11 p.m. $10-400.
It's April, Fool! Grand opening party featuring the "Inappropriate Humor" exhibit at new gallery Rare Tempo, 2958 Welton St. 6-10 p.m.
For families
Best bet: "The Little Mermaid." The Colorado Ballet ends the 2016-17 season with this classic kids' tale. Newman Center for the Performing Arts, 2344 E. Iliff Ave. 2 p.m. and 7:30 p.m. $43-155.
Best bet: "Fern Gully." Avatar Movement Dance Company presents an interpretation of the animated, environmental fantasy. Cleo Parker Robinson Dance, 119 Park Ave. West. $15.
Best bet: "It's Elemental!" Family concert featuring the Orpheus Pagan Chamber Choir performing the music of Earth, Wind and Fire. Wash Park Center for Music & Art, 400 S. Williams St. 11 a.m. Free-$10.
Easter Eggstravaganza. Egg hunt, face painting, raffles, the Easter Bunny and more. Limited space available, register in advance. Hammond's Candies, 5735 Washington St. 12:30-3:30 p.m. $5.
Little Brown Skin Girl opening reception. Work from Lia Nelson-James that a voice to girls/women of color. Blair-Caldwell African American Research Library, 2401 Welton St. 2-5 p.m. Free.
Spring break space camp. Help locate a lost spaceship that is orbiting an outer planet. Ideal for ages 8 and older. Virginia Village Branch Library, 1500 S. Dahlia St. 2-4:30 p.m.
Story time with Cinderella. Second Star to the Right, 4353 Tennyson St. 4-5 p.m. $10.
For your brain
Da Vinci Machines exhibition opening. See the new exhibit and a performance of "DaVinci & Michelangelo: The Titans Experience." Light appetizers, cash bar. Cocktail attire. Wings Over the Rockies Museum, 7711 E. Academy Blvd. 5-9:30 p.m. $30-40.
Raising chickens and goats in the city. Get hands-on with chickens and goats in an introductory course raising chickens and goats. Four Mile Historic Park, 715 S. Forest St. 10 a.m.-noon. $13-15.
For a cause
Jefferson Park Pub third anniversary and benefit. Live music from 5-7 p.m. Free champagne from 3-5 p.m. Proceeds will go to the African Community Center helping refugees in Denver. Jefferson Park Pub, 2445 Eliot St. 3-9 p.m.
Sports
Colorado Rapids vs. F.C. Dallas, 7 p.m.
Sunday
Entertainment
Best bet: "Disgraced." A 2013 Pulitzer Prize-winning play about a man who spends his adulthood downplaying his upbringing, but finds misconceptions about his culture too much to bear after a high-profile court case and his wife’s Islam-inspired art show. Ricketson Theatre, 1400 Curtis St. 1:30 p.m. $35.
“Constellations.” This play inspired by string theory follows scientist Marianne and beekeeper Roland through the possible paths of their relationship after they meet at a party. Curious Theatre Company, 1080 Acoma St. 8 p.m. $24-30.
“An Act of God.” In a play the New York Times called “deliriously funny,” God takes on a human form and sets the record straight. Garner Galleria Theatre, 1101 13th St. 2 p.m. Tickets start at $47.
Table reading: "Honor Killing." An early look at a play in which New York Times reporter Allisyn Davis covers the honor killing of a young woman in Pakistan. White Box Theatre, 1903 E. Iliff Ave. 9:30 a.m. Free.
Big Wild. Gothic Theatre, 3263 S. Broadway. 8 p.m. $16-18.
Flow Tribe. Larimer Lounge, 2721 Larimer St. 8 p.m. $12-15.
Holophase. Lost Lake Lounge, 3602 E. Colfax Ave. 8 p.m. $8-10.
Ape Machine. Hi-Dive, 7 S. Broadway. 9 p.m. $10.
22 Savage. Cervantes Masterpiece, 2637 Welton St. 8 p.m. $20-125.
Jeezy. Summit Music Hall, 1902 Blake St. 7 p.m. $39.50-45.
"Following The Ninth: In The Footsteps of Beethoven’s Final Symphony." Documentary following the impact of Beethoven's Symphony No. 9 across the globe. Oriental Theater, 4335 W. 44th St. 8 p.m. $17.
Pouya and Fat Nick. Marquis Theater, 2009 Larimer St. 7 p.m. $20-25.
Queenz of Hip-Hop 8 Jam. Dance battles, workshops and omen in hip hop. Campus Recreation at Auraria Campus, 900 Auraria Parkway. 10 a.m.-4 p.m.
I Was A Fire. Globe Hall, 4483 Logan St. 8 p.m. $5-8.
Showtune Sing-along: "The Sound of Music." Sie Film Center, 2510 E. Colfax Ave. 11 a.m. $7-11.
Urban Pioneers. Lion's Lair, 2022 E. Colfax Ave. 9 p.m. $6.
Art
Denver Fashion Week(end). Night three is all about hair, featuring Colorado’s most talented stylists and the South West Hairstyling Awards. EXDO Event Center, 1399 35th St. 7-11 p.m. $10-400.
Foul-Mouthed Cross-Stitch Sundays. Get crafty and do some cross-stitching. All materials provided with purchase. Grandma’s House, 1710 S. Broadway. Noon-9 p.m.
For families
Best bet: "A Symphonic Beauty and the Beast." Music from the movie performed by the Colorado Symphony Orchestra. Boettcher Concert Hall, 1400 Curtis St. 1 p.m. $10-25.
Best bet: "The Little Mermaid." The Colorado Ballet ends the 2016-17 season with this classic kids' tale. Newman Center for the Performing Arts, 2344 E. Iliff Ave. 2 p.m. and 6:30 p.m. $43-155.
Cupcake Battle. My Make’s version of “Cupcake Wars.” All ages welcome. Viewers welcome, too. My Make Studio, 6460 E. Yale Ave., Unit E60. Noon-2 p.m. $20.
Sports
Colorado Avalanche at Minnesota Wild, 4 p.m.
Denver Nuggets at Miami Heat, 6 p.m.
